#4 Disappearing Act

So far my Match.com experiences can be summed up in one word: flaky. Flaky is one of my favorite qualities when applied to pastry or cereal but applied to dating, it translates to either being unreliable or having a dry scalp. Neither of these is something I'm interested in dealing with on a personal basis. Since I first joined, I've chatted with several guys with great potential. From the Triathlete to Lawyer to Mr. Seattle, they were all fun and interesting guys that seemed to enjoy chatting with me as I with them. We had great conversations and without explanation all of them ceased contact with me. It's like repeatedly dating Amelia Earhart. Too soon?
This past week was the week of reckoning for me. After having a bad first Match.com date (see "bruises" blog), and not hearing from anyone in over 5 days, I emailed them all back politely to tell them that I'd like to get to know them more and wasn't sure what had happened since our last email. I still haven't heard back from anyone. The Triathlete is especially troubling as I made it a step further to the phone conversation with him where we agreed to meet up for a drink the following Tuesday. By the time Tuesday came, I texted him to find out where he wanted to go. He responded that he was crazy busy, which I believe because of his schedule and instead suggested Saturday if I was free. I said that Saturday evening sounded good to me and have never heard back from him. I can see that he read my email the night before our "date" asking if we were still on for the following night but still no response. I don't understand what is so difficult about responding to say that you're not interested or perhaps have met someone else. I am an adult. I get it. Of the half dozen Amelia's I emailed, one is particularly confusing. I decided that his name is Ace since he's demonstrated what a champ he is at pissing me off.

His emails were always vague but in one to him I described in great detail what I do for a living and asked him how he got into his career. I was expecting at least a slight insight into what he does. Perhaps he wanted to follow in the footsteps of his father, or was the first in his family to go to college, or just really loves what he does. I ended my email asking him out for a drink and gave him my number. The informative response to my email  was as follows:
Ace: "I got into this career in college and have been doing it for work ever since. What do you do?"
I am still unsure what made my eye twitch more. Was it the lack of a true answer from him about his career? I assumed he got into his career in college since that was his Major, but was wondering what drove him to it? Perhaps an interesting anecdote about his dying grandmother? Jesus, anything to keep the conversation going. This is would have been enough to spark my eye twitch, but what drove a wooden spoon in my mouth while I seized on the floor was him not noticing the paragraph I wrote about my career or the blatant phone number slip with date invitation. I pulled myself together to compose this simple email:
"Thanks for the response. You seem like a nice guy but I don't think that you're that into this and I'm not looking for a pen-pal. Take care."

An hour after sending this email, he immediately sent me back a message apologizing and saying that he "IS into this and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not" and then asked if I was free later in the week for a drink. Wha-What?! I just wrote you off....I literally just wrote you off.
This is when I took a brief couple days off of Match and emailed him later to tell him that I was free Friday night if he wanted to grab a drink then. I heard nothing all week until Friday night when at 9pm I checked my email to see that he'd sent me an invitation to join him out for drinks that evening if I was around. Now, at this point, I was pissed off because he had my number and could have texted me as I didn't have his. He left it in the email so I texted him and immediately lied and told him that since I hadn't heard from him all week, I had made other plans to help a friend, which was true, but already done with said help. I suggested Sunday afternoon until 9pm I'd be free and we could meet up then if he wanted. He agreed and in fact apologized again about the delay in his response and that he "will be better now, promise." I took this as a great opportunity to offer a clean slate to him. I do believe in second chances and honestly, I will give several second chances if I think a person is trying. He agreed to text Saturday to figure out plans on Sunday. Fast forward two days and I'm still waiting for our drink itinerary. I refused to text him as I'm tired of the one sided relationship crap. I gave him the whole afternoon for a meeting. Pick a time between noon and 9pm....I am beginning to think that perhaps he works for Time Warner because a Cable Guy is more reliable than he. It doesn't make me as angry any more but instead I find myself shaking my head with a scowl every time I decide to sign onto Match.com. Maybe I will take another few days off. The problem with guys on here is that they all say they are too busy to meet anyone in real life. But the problem is that eventually they'll have to meet me and make me a "real life" meeting. But if they don't have time now, they're not going to have anymore time just because we met online. Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps, they all joined monasteries and took a vow of silence and that's why I sit here waiting. Regardless, from now on, the only type of flaky guy I'm interested in laughs when I poke him in the stomach.

the end, by sean